Reality Rally

I didn’t expect the surgery to effect me that much, after all what’s the big deal about two little cuts? Well, it turns out, it actually is a big deal. I have been exhausted for weeks. I’m not sure if it is mental or physical fatigue, but I guess probably a bit of both. There hasn’t been much pain, thank goodness, but a nagging ache that wears me down towards the end of the day. This week I’m feeling better, just in time for the second surgery tomorrow. In case you missed it, tomorrow the surgeon is going to operate to improve the margins where the lump was removed. Okay, moving on.

I woke up a few morning ago and I had, as Oprah says, an Ah-Ha moment. I knew I needed to tell you. Here it is:

“Treat everyone as if they have cancer.”

At first glance, you may be thinking “What?” But, hear me out. Since I’ve been diagnosed, I am noticing a difference in the way people treat me. The hugs are a little tighter and longer. The looks are more meaningful. The words are more thoughtful. My husband and I are much more understanding of each other. Friends and family go out of their way to do something nice. Strangers do too when you tell them. For some reason, I blurt it out every now and then. It’s like I have to own it. I remember in the “old” days, the relatives would whisper the word cancer as if it would spread just by saying it out loud. I think it’s the opposite. I will shout the word cancer to show it has no power over me.

Prior to the diagnosis, I was trying to be more mindful. Cancer has helped me with this. I stopped taking moments and memories for granted. I am mentally recording every gesture, every hug, every word. Each is so special to me. You hear this story over and over. A tiny brush with your mortality changes everything. I’m so happy and blessed that it has changed me and it is not too late. Like Ebenezer Scrooge, I can turn things around.

So, here’s my pledge. I will treat each and every one of you like you have cancer. I will be gentle, understanding, loving, honest, and sensitive to your needs. I will slow down to really listen to you. I will spend time with you. I will care for you. But, there’s a second part too. I will also treat myself like I have cancer (oh wait...I do!). I will be gentle, understanding, loving, honest and sensitive to my own needs. I will slow down to listen to myself. I will spend time doing the things I love. I will take excellent care of me…exercising, eating right and resting. I will laugh more and I hope you will be there laughing with me. I will stop to assess. Is what I’m doing helping me? Is what I’m doing helping you? Am I enjoying every moment of this precious life? Eventually, I’ll get on with my life. Cancer isn’t going to always be front and center, but hopefully the above words will be.

I hope that you can take the above and incorporate it into your life without ever having to deal with cancer or another life-altering trauma. I’ll update after the surgery. Sending love...stay tuned…Bloggergal